Bits and Pieces
by randomfics
Summary: AU Sai, still alive, has his hands paralyzed. Hikaru offers to move stones for his big brother, at the expense that he can never learn Go.


a/n: Warning! Warning! This is extremely AU and kinda choppy, and is more like a collection of oneshots about this universe gathered together then in any serious chronological order- continued only if others would like me to.

* * *

"I want to play go, even if I can't hold them in my hands. I **have** to play Go." Sai insisted quietly, eyes burning as several of the older pros looked torn between refusing and agreeing with the young man. As a teenager, Sai had taken the Go world by storm-

Now due to a bungling moron that had too much to drink, Sai would never be able to hold a Go stone ever again. It was a toss up between whether or not he'd be able to even do his buttons on his jacket. It was a cruel fate beyond words, and there were many cartwheels being done to figure out some way-

Beside him, his eight year old brother shifted slightly, eyes coming up to drill the men around him with too old eyes-

Of course, there were many horror stories floating around about the youngest brother, about how the young man had witnessed his parents death. Sai had been thinking about cutting back his matches, playing just enough to give them a living while attempting to spend more time with his younger brother.

Hikaru shyly tugged on his brothers sleeve, looking up with mournful eyes. "Big brother, will they not let you play because you can't place the stones?"

Sai hesitated, but Hikaru took it as a yes. The inattachable limpet (not that Touya Senior blamed him) hand tightened imperceptibly. "Wh-What if I place your stones like at home? I know all of the coordinates now, and I can remember your instructions pretty well. I don't want you to go anywhere."

Ah, so was that the main reason for the child's offer? A desperate plea for no more change? For just a tiny bit of normality? A heavy sigh swept the council. Hikaru tugged on the sleeve again, and Sai crouched slightly to look Hikaru in the eye.

Then, Touya-sensei saw one of the older Pro's smirk. One of the pros that absolutely **hated** Sai's level and style of play. One that wouldn't stop to stoop to low levels to get back at the man.

"If so, then this child can never play a Go game outside of an official match, attend a study group, study kifu, nor can he learn any of the rules. If it's ever found that he's just played a game, I propose that Sai would be placed under suspicion of cheating."

There was an almost imperceptible murmur of outrage among the higher-dans. Some of the lower dans nodded in agreement to the man's words. Sai's face drained of all color as he straightened from his crouching position.

"That- you can't mean that! Hikaru is still a child! Eventually he'll become curious, and I have been looking forward to teaching my brother how to play."

Touya also spoke up. "I agree. To place such heavy responsibility upon so small a child- I thought that we were supposed to be _promoting_ the spread of Go, not stinting a young boys development because of his brother."

"I don't mind." Hikaru piped up, eyes brightening. "Go is a game for old geezers anyways."

More then one person stared at him in shock as Sai moaned softly. "Hikaru, I **told** you over and over again that it is a game of strategy! Of-"

Hikaru snorted, showing the first bit of fire since he had been brought into the room. "This is coming from the guy who wears his hair longer then most **girls** do." The disgust in the word of girls was very evident, and Hikaru poked Sai gently in the leg. "Besides, you wear that crazy purple lipstick, and you like dressing in really old style clothing. I dare you to tell me your mind set isn't like an old geezers."

Only random spluttering came from the distraught Sai, surprising many of the Go players. Normally Sai was so controlled- "Hikaruuuu~" Was Sai _whining_?

Hikaru pulled a long face at Sai, sticking out his tongue. "At least this'll get me out of you trying to teach me Go. Every night you bug me about the same thing."

A sad look touched the face of Sai, even as he awkwardly patted Hikaru's head. "I suppose that's true now, yes."

Sai took a deep breath. Hikaru… was truly giving up a lot to do this, and only he could really see this. So, it was only fair that Sai made this promise out loud, and make it clear that this giving was not one way. "Hikaru, until the time you want to play Go, I swear I won't loose a single game. And if you do start playing, then I suppose I'll just have to retire, won't I?"

"It's not going to happen Sai. I don't wanna play an old geezers game."

The half smile plastered itself to Sai's lips. "Maybe not now, but later perhaps…"

-----

Hikaru moved the ball around with his foot, before switching to bouncing on his knee. Through the open doorway he could see the outline of Sai, no doubt discussing a game with the study group.

A strong gust of wind blew through the trees, tugging at his blond bangs. It was strong enough, however, to cause it's own level of pandemonium as kifu's unexpectedly took to the wind. He could hear Sai's dismayed sort of whine in the back of his head already, supplying him with the words he couldn't hear- "Oh no! The kifu's! Stupid, silly wind!"

He gave in to the urge to walk over and help gather up the kifu's, gathering them fast enough so as not to be accused of studying them out. Quickly he shoved them at the overbearing Ogata, before moving to return back to his soccer ball.

"Thank you Hikaru." Touya's calm voice spoke softly. "Now then, what was the next move? Sai, do you remember?"

Sai paused for a moment, frowning. "I- Didn't I move to 15-10?"

One quick glance at the board was all Hikaru needed. "Isn't that yours and Sai's game Touya-sensei? From three weeks ago?"

"That's right Hikaru, why do you ask?"

"I remember the game still. Sai, remember, you moved to 15-19, not 15-10. Then Touya Sensei countered with 12-19."

Ogata, leafing through the Kifu's, paused for a second, eyes glinting unnaturally. Touya recognized that look- it was the same look that Ogata had when dragging a insei, expected to pass the pro exam this year, to the study group.

He saw Ogata extract a sheet carefully, peeking at the boy. "Would you mind showing us?"

Hikaru frowned for a second, glancing uneasily around the table. Sai also glanced around the table, wondering if such a thing was technically within rights. After all, it **was** a study group.

Ogata's smile was slightly scary. "No one here will tell. I just want to see how much of the game you can remember."

"Ummm…"

It nearly broke Touya's heart to see the boy so hesitant, glancing at Ogata, and then at his brother with fearful confusion- he didn't blame the child for his unwillingess. More then once the child had been practically dragged into events, and had only managed to save his brothers promise by crawling under the table, sticking both hands to his ears, and refusing to move until it was his brother that got him out.

Normally he'd have been appalled, but considering the high stakes- Hikaru was fighting for his brothers' happiness. Sai was fighting to give Hikaru as much of a normal life as was possible for a normal, bouncy boy to be a Go obsessed man's hands during intense games.

All the while, never knowing what a single rule was, not knowing the importance, and knowing that once he **learned** that purpose, his brother would stop doing what he loved. It was a depressing scenario when carefully thought about. Sai played Go for Hikaru- Hikaru remained ignorant for Sai.

Pa-chick.

The gentle sound of a stone hitting the goban broke him out of his dark thoughts. Hikaru, sitting in front of the Goban still looked unaccountably nervous, but Ogata was smirking. Sai's eyes full of dread turned to Touya- was there nothing he could do? Hikaru was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

The sharp reprimand for Ogata to stop bullying the boy was replaced with a hitched breath. Hikaru, with a look of intense concentration, had placed another stone.

Ogata nodded. So, Hikaru had guessed right? Or was it really a guess?

Touya fell silent, and gestured at the Goban, as Hikaru's stones became more rapid fire. Soon the entire game was played out fully. "That was the entire game. Can I go now?"

Without waiting- and no doubt earning himself another lecture about proper manners later- Hikaru fled back to the safety of the soccer ball within yelling distance, but not close enough to overhear.

Ogata turned to the expectant group, proudly laying out the kifu. "He got every last move right- and in the exact order played as well."

For a few moments, all the study groups could do was stare, before Sai shook his head. "A game from three weeks ago? To remember it so clearly? Honestly? I-I know my brother is smart but-"

_He doesn't know much about Go. He's not allowed to know much about Go. The only thing he's allowed to do is place my stones._

The unspoken sentence hung heavy on the air, until Ogata dispelled it with a snort. "Untutored he may be, but unskilled he is not. No doubt the memorization comes from the fact that he **only** plays intense games. He only plays a few matches, unlike us who play hundreds of matches at the same time. It makes sense that he can remember the game clearly."

Ogata paused for a moment. "Plus, he's probably picked up some basic knowledge of Go just from watching the plays. Sai, does he ever demonstrate this ability at home?"

Sai was reluctantly quiet for a few moments, before- "Yes. Even if I'm the one to wake him up, he only needs to look at a schedule twice before he's got all of the times, dates, and people memorized."

Ogata stared down at the board for a little longer, before sighing. "It's a shame we'll never see him actually play Go. I think eventually he'd have given us a run for our money."

"You mean provide a proper opponent for Akira?" Touya questioned hopefully. He knew how rare and precious rivals were. Sai had come along for him- between the two they held the majority of the titles, and fiercely fought each other at least once a month. During this time, Akira was always out- in fact, Touya didn't think that Akira had once actually **met** the other boy.

Either way, Hikaru quite obviously wasn't slipping up, and held himself in rigid paranoia in the Go world. There would be no mistakes on Hikaru's part on whether or not Sai could continue playing- it was all up to Sai.

And judging from the contemplative look, Sai was beginning to wonder if maybe perhaps he should simply retire for now, and allow his little brother to take a chance at Go himself.

And he was ashamed to admit it, even to himself, but he hoped that such a thing wouldn't happen anytime soon. Sai was his greatest rival, and his retirement would mean lots of younglings attempting to grab his titles all at once, instead of working towards them one by one.

Plus he hadn't yet won a game against Sai, and he was determined to at least drag one title away from the man.

"Perhaps if you had gone here-" Touya started slightly as he realized that he had drifted off to his own little dream world. It was time to focus.

------

Hikaru very carefully eased around the doorway, taking care not to make a sound- "Hikaru!"

The light snapped on, as his foster mothers disapproving face hovered over him. Hikaru stifled a groan. Could he not do a single thing right? It was nine o'clock, before curfew, he had taken off his shoes, and-

"You were out with your brother again, weren't you." It wasn't a question, nor did she seem to expect an answer as she plowed on. "How many times must I tell you- being out all day doesn't help you with your grades at all. Honestly, you need to work hard and make certain you get into a proper college Hikaru! If you keep this up-"

Hikaru drowned it out with a soft humming to himself, and the mental promise of _One day, Sai is finally going to get custody of me again, and I'm going to go live with him for the rest of my life until I get married, and maybe even then because his hands are getting worse, and who knows, I might have to be his hands full time…_

The one sided lecture ended with a flourish (his mother no doubt thinking she had won) and Hikaru dragged himself up the steps and flopped down into his bed. Would it be considered paranoia to think that Go Officials would check his bedroom for any go related materials? Still- there was nothing about Go in this tiny room.

And he wished there was.

------

The bowl-cut hair boy had come around to bug him again. Hikaru muffled a small moan of pain as Touya Akira's voice imperiously pierced the thick door. "Hikaru, you **are** going to play a game against me today."

Always, always, always this happened. Why couldn't Akira simply accept the fact that Hikaru _did not_ play Go and leave it at that? Must he always come around demanding for a game?

Just because he was the brother to _the_ Shindou Sai didn't mean he had inherited magically good Go playing skills himself!

….No matter how much he wished for them. "Hikaru!"

Touya was shouting at him again. "I already told you, I don't play Go!" There was a soft huff of frustration. Hikaru pleaded mentally for him to go away. He just couldn't take this any more, any more begging and he'd snap enough to tell Touya **why** exactly he couldn't play Go.

Not something he especially wanted to contemplate, seeming how it sounded a lot like he was placing all of the blame on Sai, which wasn't the reason at all. Quite frankly Sai would whither and die without Go, and his curiosity on the game would take second place forever if needed.

In death Sai would teach him all of the secrets, all of the reasons why he moved like he did, and maybe even teach him how to play such a beautiful game himself. But still, it was Sai, Sai, Sai, because he couldn't loose him. Not after everything he had been through.

Sai was his last remaining link to sanity, and he was willing to kill before allowing anyone to get in-between him and his brother.

Sometimes though he scared himself with the literalness of this statement he was thinking as his foster parents attempted to cut him off from his brother once more…

"And why not?" His not-quite-rival demanded. "You could certainly pick apart my game well!"

Ah, the reference to the thrice cursed game. Cursed once for Hikaru even seeing the game, and seeing only curious insei's and younger children gathered around it had cautiously made his way over to it. Cursed twice when Akira and his opponent refused to replay the game for those gathered. Thrice cursed when Hikaru had taken pity, and had replayed it for them as best to what he could guess-

Much to the distress of Akira.

"Just because I could read your game doesn't mean anything!" Hikaru yelled back.

"Nobody but my father and six-dans have been able to read that far into the game! Besides, you place the stones for your brother! Stop being a wuss and play me already!"

"How do you know that I'll even be able to match up to you?" Hikaru shouted back- "I've never played a game myself-"

For a long moment silence reigned- then Akira made a slight sound of disgust. Hikaru's heart plummeted.

"Fine. But I'll be waiting for you in the Pro league. Catch up with me if you think you can. Or if you get rid of being such a coward."

Hikaru spluttered, storming over to the door to jerk it open. Too late- Akira had vanished. Silently he contemplated the spot where his _not_ rival had stood. Pro league? Could he? Dared he?

A slight frown touched his face, as he glanced back at the manga covered walls- he would be lying if he said that he was bored of manga and everything that came with it, but quite honestly, he was wondering if maybe just maybe it was alright to break the status quo.

Break it?

Hikaru's hands clenched. He was a complete and utter coward, wasn't he, hiding all this time.

Fine. He'd prove himself to Akira.

----

Touya Kouyo was not a stupid man by a long shot. He could see the delicate balance that kept Hikaru and Sai apart in the world of Go slowly crumble to pieces.

He could still remember every single last thing Hikaru did for Sai, all the while keeping up his uncaring attitude- like getting a program for blind players to play NetGo during the week that he'd be gone for soccer practice. Sai had practically been clinging to him for the entire time, wailing about how his darling little brother was going to leave him for a week- the Meijin had to smother a laugh as Hikaru had shoved the computer at him, hissing, "Fine, then learn how to use this stupid thing for once and I can e-mail you while I'm gone."

The next day, a new player had appeared on NetGo that went by the name of Sai-

If that was a coincidence then he was a complete amateur at Go. And since he wasn't…

Not that it could be proven. That was the crowning achievement of all. Hikaru had managed to introduce his brother secretly to NetGo in such a way that no one could pinpoint it to him. Because he had been gone for the entire week rigorously training for soccer in a (coincidentally _not_) place without any internet whatsoever.

None.

The man smothered a half-chuckle under his breath. If Hikaru ever got to play Go, the man could imagine that it would be like a lottery- completely unpredictable, uncontrollable, and you'd find yourself furiously trying to catch up only to end up loosing more then you could imagine.

_Ah well, the status quo will change soon._ Sai had been steadily working towards that goal, and Touya couldn't miss the way Hikaru would watch the games in complete fascination.

But for now, everyone was too scared to change the status quo- simply because of the little fact-

"OY SAI! I JUST GOT PERMISSION TO LEARN GO SO YOU BETTER TEACH ME SO I CAN TEACH STUPID AKIRA THAT I CAN WHOOP HIS A—"

Sai's happy tackle and squeal of joy drowned out what Hikaru was saying about his child. Touya suppressed the smile that threatened the corners of his mouth, since it would be unseemly to be smiling when someone rudely announced they were going to beat your child in a match. But he was glad- the status quo had been broken, at last and much sooner then he had ever hoped.

Of course, having rivals always did push you to move faster.

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a/n: Thanks for reading, please review, and I hope that I didn't waste your time that badly!


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